F***E It! (or It’s Not Cheating if You Are The GM)

• As my inaugural post to Stat Bonus, I want to self-aggrandize (I’m going to link to my blog World Engineer) and talk about Dice Fudging! I originally posted about why I opposed fudging dice. Later, I posted an attempt to clarify my position, here. Now! I’m going to flip flop and promote Dice Fudging! So, F***e It!
  

I’ve known (and been) a GM that acts like “fudge” is a dirty word; a deep dark secret to be hidden behind Walls of Fear and Ignorance (AKA GM Screens). Today! I say, "Secret no more!"  There are really good reasons to fudge.

Your Plot is More Important – Any time that the plot for your campaign is more important than your Players' joy at outwitting your NPC or their excitement of getting amazing dice rolls against incredible or overwhelming odds.  F***e It! Only, you, the GM, understand all the hours that went into the development of your Campaign Arc. Only, you know that the big reveal at the climax of the campaign is so amazing that your Players will be overjoyed and your fudging to get the PCs captured, stripped of all their prized possessions, and imprisoned was totally worth it. F***e It!

Monsters and NPCs in Dungeons Always Attack – Remember that time in when you were running Advanced Dungeons and Dragons and you used that Wandering Monster Table for the Haunted Halls and you rolled up a Lich? Yeah, what else could you do? You knew that the PCs would be killed; it would be a TPK, They were only fourth level! So, you had no choice, so you said (and surely I agree), :F***e It!" Why have wandering monsters, if they are not going to fight the PCs, right? Every encounter must be balanced for combat, because every monster will always attack. There is never any chance that a powerful magic wielding NPC, like a lich, would want to hire (use as pawns) the PC, right? Liches only exist to slay adventurers, so you are absolutely right; F***e It!

PC Deaths and/or Potential TPKs – If you get really lucky on your dice and the PCs are about die, then F***e It! Nothing ruins a game like a bunch of dead PCs. I mean randomly rolling attacks and resulting damage is stupid. You know that PCs aren’t going to ever die. They are the main characters of the story and main characters never die, right, George R. R. Martin? Let’s be honest, who would ever want to roll up new Characters to avenge their family and friends who were killed the Wandering Lich or worse, begin raised from the dead as half-living servants of a mad lich bent on retrieving his grandfather’s Holy Avenger. Yeah, there are no stories to tell if the PCs die, so F***e It!

Finally, You Have a Super Awesome Magic Item on a Random Chart and You Roll it, When You Are Randomly Generating Treasure for the Wandering Monster that the PCS Just Killed – Your fourth level party just beat a group of goblins what you just rolled up as wandering monsters. You tell your Players that you will randomly roll for three magic items to be among the treasure looted from the goblin corpses. You get a potion of healing (Cool.), a portable hole (Eh?), and a Holy Avenger (WTF?) You’ve got a fourth level paladin in your party; you can’t give a fourth level paladin a legendary level magic item. F***e It! Don’t ask yourself, “Why was a group of goblins running around with a Holy Avenger in a portable hole?” Don’t consider that the Holy Avenger may be a well-known relic that once belonged to a lich’s paladin grandfather and that it is common tavern talk that said lich regularly scries for it and sends minions to attack the blade’s wielder (and only the blade’s wielder) in an attempt to recover his family’s property. Don’t imagine that you decided to roll on a random table to give yourself and your game an unexpected turn, just F***e It!

See, I was wrong; GMs should always fudge their dice rolls. "It always makes for better games."

Until next time, Game On!

Gregory Guldensupp

GameEngineer.WordPress.com
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I have not posted previous articles, but I had an excerpt from my C is Coin post used in The Color of Money